Go Away Anxiety, You Have No Friends.

Having an anxiety attack is no walk in the park, it’s really quite disturbing, you believe that something is physically wrong with your body. I begin by having non-stop over-analytical thoughts followed by light headiness, limp arms and heartburn/palpitations that can last hours (I never get heartburn unless I’m experiencing anxiety), to say the least it isn’t a cup of tea. In my own way I triggered my anxiety by having distrust in another, I couldn’t stop myself. Anxiety can be like a dictating sovereign, ruling your moves and planting seeds of doubt in your foundations. I start to see every opposing and unbalancing situation in my life as a battle, a battle that has to be won, sacrificing your casualties and making the most of the fighting force that you have left. Why does everything have to be war though, bleak, desolate and crippling.

The aftermath of a war sometimes having more devastating consequences than the actual battle. We learn from war, we learn what we can do better next time, we learn what worked and what didn’t and how to best remain afloat. To be brutally honest during this war on anxiety I was a bitch, leaving causalities strewn in my wake. Today I realized what I had done, the thick curtain of anxiety lifting, the storm had past, now I need to workout what I do and don’t have to apologize for. I’ve been trying to get off my medication, but I’ve failed and the embedded reliance and unsubstantiated belief in the worth of psychiatry and psycho-pharmacology has won out.


17 thoughts on “Go Away Anxiety, You Have No Friends.”

  1. Wow! The last part of your post really rings true for me. I too want off my medication, but I know I can’t possibly do it, not with my condition. Maybe there are some high functioning people out there that can do it on their own, but without meds, I just can’t cope or manage my symptoms. I hope you find relief and I really do understand what an anxiety attack is like. I get them every time one of my family members leave my home. I worry about a million things that could go wrong while they are gone and I get pretty much the same symptoms as you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts!


    1. Yours sounds worse than mine, hope they start to get better, its always a hard slog though> constantly have to keep retraining myself. Hope it all works out for you. Thanks for your feedback 🙂


    1. Its so hard to think of that when you’re experiencing it, ugh I’m still trying to fix my consequences, I was a psycho girlfriend..whoops. I don’t understand how it just happens so fast and can leave as fast as it came. Hope it gets better for you, good to hear from you Hazelnutpie 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Anxiety and panic attacks give me terrible chest pains. Been to the ER so many times for them. I also get a frog in my throat and constantly try to clear it so I can breathe. I also hyperventilate because I am afraid I am having a heart attack and can’t breathe. Definitely not a great feeling and triggered so easily and I take 4 mg of Clonazepam for the anxiety. Stopped working as my anxiety got worse.


  3. I admire your desire to be well without meds. Personally I choose being well the way I know how (meds) because I have a husband and 2 little kids. They really need me well. It’s a no-brainer for me.

    Be kind to yourself 🙂


    1. I know, meds are definitely a go for now, its too hard for me and everyone else when I’m not. I always have the thoughts about it in the back of my mind though. I agree with your decision about the meds, good to know I’m not alone x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Poor darlin’, I feel for ya. I’m going through the mill myself atm but without meds…I’ve never had them so I don’t know what it’s like to want to come off them but I’ve worked alongside many people who have successfully kicked them (slowly) and learned different strategies to manage things afterwards…hang in there, Lovey.


  5. Thanks for visiting:) This post of yours is spot on! Perhaps it depends on the severity of the symptoms, and the way in which the particular meds work. Sure Valdoxan killed my anxiety, but it also left me feeling like the walking dead. Since begging my doc to go med free, and being dedicated instead to meditation and everything natural I know, I feel reborn. Anti depressants are evil. Best wishes to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would like to be med-free, I just keep wondering if I would be worse or better, I do all the right things, but it isn’t always enough to keep everything at bay. Wish I had your determination.


  6. Such an accurate depiction of the intensity of anxiety! I love your line “Anxiety can be like a dictating sovereign….” ~ oh, how true this is! It is virtually impossible to ignore; the more you try, the worse it spikes up…I too would dearly love to be off medication, but each and every time I have tried, I end up in hospital an absolute shaking, crying breakdown personified…And I’m not a nice person off meds, I know this..Everything feels too raw, and I am way over-sensitive…Therefore, I try to be a good little patient and stick to my meds, just having to put up with the not-so-lovely side-effects :/ Thankyou for this ~ very insightful!


  7. I feel your pain. However, as I have almost identical physical symptoms, it is validating to hear about it from someone else. Keep fighting the good fight. The in-betweens are great and we do learn how to take care of ourselves during the spells. I’ve recently decided that an anxious period is the worst time to audit your life, as that sense of danger will make small issues seem like big ones. Just sitting tight at present, waiting for this to pass, and being very, very patient with myself.


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