About Me

Hi I’m Alice*, welcome to my Wonderland.

Beware the little white rabbit. Writing is cheaper than therapy or drugs. Welcome to my slow descent into overwhelming madness boring life.

This is my personal wellness project, embracing the good, the bad and the ugly. Exploring my musings on any topic I find interesting. Writing about mental health feels like a blank slate, taking away some of my own drama with each post. My blog is my internet ‘black box‘ where I can voice my ideas that I don’t voice to the people in my life.

Since being diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 in September 2014, I’ve found it really difficult to be okay with my diagnosis. The stigma and discrimination towards mental illness needs to stop, we can’t assist with this process without first talking about it and gaining a better insight into the different experiences that people have had.  My blog is a glimpse into my less than perfect mind, allowing my thoughts to be glamorized by the anonymity and obscurity of the web.

“Only know you’ve been high when you’re feeling low”.

“What do you look at while you’re making up your mind? Ours is not a reflective culture, we do no raise our eyes up to the hills. Most of the time we decide the critical things while looking at the linoleum floor of an institutional corridor, or whispering hurriedly in a waiting room with a television blatting nonsense.”
― Thomas Harris, Hannibal

51 thoughts on “About Me”

  2. Dropped by to thank you for following my blog and found myself interested in yours. My daughter is also bipolar and my wife suffers from depression, and because of this I found your writings and thoughts of great interest. Good blogs.

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  4. thanks for stopping by my blog. i’m really loving yours.
    i’m glad you’ve found this outlet – and i hope you are able to get as much out of it as i have with mine. wierd. questions. answers. sometimes staring at yourself is disgusting and then there are days when it can be lovely –
    i hope you keep writing because i would love to keep reading.
    take care.

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  6. Your blog is so vivid and full of life. Not boring at all. I think that perhaps you are a bit too hard on yourself. Besides, you already show the courage and strength to take control and improve your life. You are so young, so you got a lot of time and opportunity to make it better. Keep up the great work!

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  8. Hey there Alice! Thanks for having a look at my blog! I have recently started creative writing so it’s good to have some support!

    It’s also really great that you are giving some insight to everyone about Bipolar; it’s sometimes hard for people to be understanding when they don’t have personal experiences. Good job, I look forward to hearing more from you! 😀

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  10. Glad you came across my blog, and led me to yours! Dealing with mental health is better than “NORMAL”!
    You would definitely understand without me having to explain!
    Those of us with certain mental “abnormalities” and have to actively work with are consciously more active than “normal” people
    ANYWAY— lol
    I also chose the educational study of psychology because of my “generalized anxiety, with panic attacks” ext…..
    Being that your in 3rd year now- have you noticed any concerns or personal relief from learning the APA guidelines (of question)lol for diagnosing Bipolar? or any other disorder for that matter–
    I found it very refreshing and somewhat concerning that they were constantly changing/revising, sub-catorgizing, and renaming all of these during my expensive “higher education” lol —–blah blah — Its ok, I’m cray also (proudly)
    Can’t wait to read more of your posts….

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    1. Psychology was extremely fascinating to study, I came to the point where I was analyzing myself too much, which actually increased my anxiety. They have some sneaking phrasing in the guidelines these days.
      I’m starting to think of the abnormalities as a blessing in disguise, makes me different from the average person and definitely more active. What year in psych are you in?
      Some other people on here told me that the DSM keeps changing for these reasons: (in their words)

      “Almost all post-graduate medical “education” is paid for by drug companies.
      When taking advise from any medical professional, you must keep in mind that their information (and all drug research) is funded and owned by pharmaceutical companies. Since the pharmaceutical companies owns the research data, they regularly de-select, select and present only the “facts” which promote sales of their products.
      It’s also good to remember that the F.D.A. (Federal agency in charge of approving drugs as safe and effective) accepts pharmaceutical funding. So does the APA (professional club for psychiatrists. So does NAMI (“consumer” support group).”

      They had very interesting insights.

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      1. ALSO, abnormalities are almost certainly a blessing/curse of advanced capabilities given the proper training
        For some brain “abnormalities” they can be highly productive and intelligent if the “malfunction” is wired differently through training.

        While it is still experienced as psychological pain, some of these “disorders” are over active brains “chemically imbalanced” that have potentials beyond the “semi-concious” normal people.

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      2. I really relate to what your doing here. I have never been diagnosed with bi-polar or any of the other tags therapist like to use, but I certainly fit the description. I likewise write as therapy and I figure we might as well try to laugh even when inside we feel like dying. Thanks so much for sharing.

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  11. I wish someone paid for my post grad….. But, for us that believe in psychology and not psychiatry do not prescribe meds… (which for the most part I am against) The reason I went into psychology… So we are a Dr yet not a MD…
    Regardless of psychology or psychiatry (both may be educational) yet both fields of study and the professionals I feel are not accurate. (personal opinion) of course….
    Yes, taking classes can increase your anxiety or pretty much diagnose yourself with every possible psychological disorder lol
    Yes, I’m laughing because I went through the same thing- which also shows that the whole thing is —— (whatever you make of it) and ill leave it at that ….

    I refused to take any medication!
    If a Dr was to say I would be crazy not to —– Ha —- Well, I already might be, but something about the way they present it to you—-

    “We would like to start you off on ****** and if the results are not what we would like thank we will try another one!!!!!!!

    I’m not a Guinea Pig for experiments ….. I would rather have anxiety and panic attacks without a “experimental” medication…. (I ACTUALLY WAS ABLE TO OVERCOME THE ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS THROUGH MY OWN THOUGHT RETRAINING) NO MEDS!
    OF COURSE SOME PEOPLE/CONDITIONS REQUIRE OR MORE NECESSARY FOR MEDICATION THERAPY.

    each person and condition is unique. I’ve worked really hard to understand and be in awareness of my thoughts and how they process information. Than try to restructure them in a way to live with my thoughts (AS YOU ARE PROBABLY AWARE THEY ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS) LOL
    When I work with people I specifically focus on thought design and interpretation…..
    (NOT A PSYCHOLOGIST— I WOULDN’T PRACTICE PSYCHOLOGY WITH ITS GUIDELINES THAT GO AGAINST MY UNDERSTANDING AND BEILFS BEYOND THEM)
    BESIDES, I ALSO WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO JUST SIT THERE AND OFFER HELPFUL ADVICE KNOWING THEY ARENT GOING TO LISTEN ANYWAY….

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  14. The more ‘education’ one has, the more statistically likely they are to commit suicide. In this respect, psychotherapy is the most dangerous occupation. Bipolar is just a fancy name for the ordinary ups and downs of life. But the people who sell drugs want to cure you of that; good luck. My therapist once told me, “Everyone is crazy. It’s just a question of what kind and how much.” I was suffering until I took the Buddha’s teaching to heart. Thanks for liking my blog.

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    1. I’m glad the teachings helped you. I do think Bipolar is a bit more a dramtic shift then the general up and downs, the extremes give me whip lash, but everyone is crazy/normal/abnormal, only thing that changes is societies current perception. I don’t think i need to be ‘cured’ anymore. I think there is a lot of guidance in Buddha’s teachings.

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  15. Hey,

    Thanks for liking my latest blog. I think as bloggers we have this weird compulsion to check out the blogs of the people who like our blogs, or at least I do and I really like your blog! It’s honest and funny and sincere.
    I look forward to reading more of your musings.

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  16. Hi and thank you for enjoying my ”The Word” blog. Life is a struggle at times. We all handle it differently whether suffering with an illness or not. Anyhow, your blog is so beautiful. Take care now.

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  17. You know, one thing I do when I feel the way you describe is find the cheapest flight to a far corner of the Earth..I book the first night just for safety and from there just wing it. I did it in China a 2 yrs ago and had no clue about what I wanted to do , see or go other than hopefully bump into those old fisher men who still use cormorants to fish with. Did not speak any Chinese and still don’t.. It was probably one of the best trips I’ve even taken..Did it all for under $1000…but my mind was constantly on alert as every move needed to be measured and gauged once I was there…It gave my brain the diversion to reset itself and force its self to flower a bit…I had to relate and converse with a group of people who had no idea what I was asking…Angels appeared from everywhere to help me along…The feeling of isolation and loneliness was gone and the idea of gratefulness and simplicity emerged…There are of course a million places to go. I just chose that place that time as there was a sale to go there..Everyone has there own way to face these issues..I use that one when I really need it..It always works…Good luck to you and continue to write…

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    1. The amount of times I considered just getting my savings out and leaving on a whim, leaving everything behind and live in the moment, grow from the experiences. You trip sounds amazing. We start to forget in our lifestyles the worth of simplicity and gratitude. Thanks Wildside Blog, I put my intention of flight into order at the start of this year, I’m going to volunteer in Cambodia when I finish my degree as a teacher for 6months 🙂
      All the best!

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  19. Hi, yesterday you clicked that you liked my new blog ”Totally Mental’s Open Ideas so I thought I’d check out your blog and I am thoroughly intimidated! Fantastic, brilliant, well written and expressing such intelligence and development. I fear that my blog will be completely different and much more amateur. I read your post on normalcy and I am in the middle of writing a post on normalcy and sanity but now I’m not sure… course, I hope there is room for all kinds of blogs. Some more serious and some, like mine, meant more to feel better by expressing myself and trying to bring some humor back into my life. Anyway, great blog!

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    1. I just checked out your blog and I’m very interesting in the posts you’re going to put up. Definitely do a post of normalcy, I would love to read it, there are so many different perspectives. I truly think yours will have a funny edge by your opening blog statement. Haha I need to work on mine ;). I’m really happy that you found blogging, it’s really helped me. All the best! 🙂

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  20. Good to see how u write and make clear a few facts. thank u for reading my story. 🙂 hugs and keep it up.u have a very long way to go, on a path full of dimples and heights but thats the most interesting path and it urs, sole and only, nobody even could go there, but its nice u show them a piece of ur path and thoughts, 🙂

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  21. I was sitting thinking what my next casual-literature-review would be and here you are, giving me a fantastic subject. I am a passionate holistic nutritional medicine student. I love the way you write and you have inspired me, thank you.

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  23. Hi Alice ~ had an email saying you liked one of my ramblings for which I thank you so much. I thought I would have a quick look at yours, as you do and was instantly drawn in. So much I want to read, and I will later when more time but on initial look over I think we may have many like for each other. Keep it up Alice, write, write, write….it does help imo 🙂 Sending smiles from England 🙂

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  24. Ah a Stanley Kubrick quote!
    Also, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m yet to peruse your site (I shall!) but let me just say, I’m sure you’re fabulous. I like your bio!
    Wishing you well 🙂

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  25. Hi Alice, thanks for liking my blog. You’ve got some stuff going’ on here too. Cool. Yeah writing is therapy, I use it to say all the stuff I can’t say to people because they won’t get it, and then they’ll think I’m weird. Well I *am* weird, so there. Anyway, come on back & visit anytime.

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  30. I have literally only just clicked onto your blog and already I can’t wait to read more…I love your unique, authentic slant on the topic of mental health ~ you clearly write from your deepest truth and I really admire this! What a wonderful blog you have here 🙂

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    1. Thankyou so much 🙂 I love hearing feedback, I’m never entirely sure how my thoughts are interpreted, you actually just made my day, it had been pretty bad until this. Thankyou 🙂 Take care, I will make sure I check out your blog

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      1. It is nerve-wracking to pour our hearts out onto a blog and then find the courage to share it with the world, isn’t it? It is a piece of our soul, up for judgement, in a way…I’m sorry your day wasn’t so good 😦 I hope it improved for you 🙂

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Finding normality within Bipolarity. The inner musings of a chemically challenged manic-depressive. Mildly* asocial and a purveyor of awesome.