Tag Archives: writings

Lemonade Is Hard.

When life gives too many lemons, say “fuck off lemons, I ordered pie.”

It’s becoming way too hard to make lemonade. Life keeps throwing lemons your way but you can’t be bothered to make stupid lemonade. When you simply lack the strength and motivation to go through the motions.

When lemonade is simply too hard to make, you know that depression has definitely set in. It usually means you aren’t leaving bed or even buying groceries.

STAY POSITIVE 🙂 buy a juicer.

 

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Is Early Onset Bipolar Disorder a Myth?

I’ve always been curious about a child’s ability to exhibit all the required symptoms of Bipolar to meet the criteria. The other possibility involves the symptoms developing over time to eventuate into Bipolar disorder with the component of environmental factors and the individual traits of the child. My own personal example is severe childhood insomnia and anxiety, aided by my genetic predisposition to the disorder (biological father had BP1). I then question whether the insomnia was merely a symptom that demonstrated that Bipolar disorder was present during my childhood but in varying degrees. As a child I was a very clean individual that would cry at people not washing their hands or leaving a mess, I would also go into a ‘seek mode’ to find particular objects with an obsessive stubbornness that didn’t abate until I had found what I had been searching for, during these times I would also have head and neck aching pain – which was a generalised discomfort or pressure in those areas. Looking back at these times as an adult they highly correspond to my symptoms I currently exhibit during an episode of hypomania.

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The psychiatrist who wrote this abstract (40years experience in clinical child psychiatry) believes that prepubescent Bipolar disorder is a misdiagnosis, ascertaining that the children diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder are predominantly based on violent outbursts which are produced by chaotic home life (Kaplin, 2011). The critique by Stuart Kaplin promotes the argument that there is no conclusive biological test for any psychiatric diagnosis. Kaplin further argues that paediatric Bipolar Disorder doesn’t even meet the DSM-IV criteria, stating that children don’t exhibit the appropriate levels of mania and depression that define Bipolar Disorder, bipolar is characterised by extreme contrasting mood poles. Kaplin does recognise that the DSM-IV largely ignores different symptoms that should be based on age and their psychological development, instead the DSM-IV takes a simplistic approach to all ages of development and has one set of criteria, a very ‘one size fits all’ approach.

Children that are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder don’t seem to display the clear-cut episodes that the disorder is primarily based on. Etiology of psychiatry is always based on the psychiatrist’s perception of the symptoms, presenting ambiguous diagnoses based on areas of ‘grey’ within science. Children that are diagnosed with Bipolar disorder additionally display constant symptoms, episodes not deviating from their usual behaviour. Even with children meeting the manic criteria through their irritable mood, the irritable mood usually isn’t from a distinct period of time, not different from their normal functioning. Children displaying bipolar-like symptoms can also be categorised under a series of other disorders, fitting each accordingly. If a child also exhibits grandiose behaviour or euphoria it can also be attributed to the ability for the majority of children to present ‘grandiose’ orientated behaviour through their games and high imaginative ability.

Overall no objective science can adequately diagnose children to have early onset Bipolar disorder even if they have some symptom indicators, usually in my opinion it’s the environment factors that enhance the childhood symptoms to further develop into the classic Bipolar Disorder standards that are recognised by the DSM-IV.

This is just my opinion. 🙂

MEDS Debate: Bipolar IN Order VS. Bipolar Dis-Order

Being bipolar without disorder.

Tom Woottom “I would rather be on meds with Bipolar IN Order than off meds and still in Dis-Order.”

The simple ‘checklist’ that defines my life, the DSM gives an exceedingly brief checklist to illustrate depression, mania and hypomania, how can I now be defined by these symptoms?!! The list serves to reinforce the confounding issue that the authors can’t empathise with the experiences of those with Bipolar disorder. Symptoms don’t define the disorder; symptoms serve to find a reason why they are suffering or incapacitated. I don’t believe that having the symptoms of depression or hypomania always equal an ‘illness’, if the disorder is managed (medication) and you are merely cycling through emotional stages without having a dysfunctional life, than that to me isn’t a disorder, instead it is a very well controlled series of symptoms that the person is living with but isn’t being incapacitated by. Yes I am bipolar, but with the medication I don’t classify it as a ‘disorder’, disorder implies an unmanaged condition.

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The dogmatic science behind the DSM is supported by commercial interest, lacking deeper understandings and direct experiences. Don’t let yourself be trapped by dogma, whereby other people’s thinking determines how you live. To be successfully bipolar isn’t to ‘cure’ it or be off medication, it’s about the ability to function while depressed or manic, even when taking medication.

Tom Woottom: “Medicine can help moderate the intensity during the Freedom Stage of Bipolar IN Order, but they cannot get you IN Order by themselves. The role of medication becomes more peripheral as one moves through Freedom Stage to Stability and is largely irrelevant once one reaches Self-Mastery. There is no point in taking something to lower the intensity when intensity is no longer an issue.”

Another perplexing issue within the medication debate and the considered ‘disorder’ is the perception of depression, having a number of signs and symptoms of the depressive syndrome aren’t a diagnosis, instead people need to identify what disorder is producing the symptoms. There are two types of depressive syndrome: primary or secondary. Secondary is most commonly caused by substance abuse a medical illness (hypothyroidism etc), if no foreseeable aetiology can’t be found then the depression is diagnosed as primary. Overall mental health is usually completely misunderstood, at the moment I don’t think I’m suffering from a disorder, but that could easily change like the weather. I believe I’m on the path to mastering the dis-functionality that has plagued my life in the past, it’s not a short path, but I know it’s worth it and taking my medication definitely helps me to find the things in life that will make me more stable.

Happiness Isn’t Our ‘Natural’ State Of Mind.

The reason we want things isn’t because they will make us intrinsically happy, instead we expect them to bring us happiness. The paradox of happiness, whereby we can live in conditions that have improved significantly over the generations, yet our level of actual ‘happiness’ hasn’t been enriched. I’d call it ‘smoke with no fire’, people creating reasons to gain happiness yet no noticeable effect. What are the causes of happiness? Do the contents of our moment to moment experiences reflect a truer form of happiness?

People in some instances are incapable of finding their own happiness, always in pursuit. The idea of happiness becomes a fugitive emotion that remains intangible despite achieving successes. You have to examine what it intrinsically means to pursue happiness both morally and ideologically. It has been judged that the psychic damage is caused by the educational and economic systems, pretending to find logical solutions to human unhappiness. The perception of happiness is becoming entangled by social and intellectual idealisations. The pursuit of happiness has become naturally embedded within culturally acceptable norms. The psychological and emotional consequences of pursuing happiness in contemporary society analyses what constitutes as true happiness often contrasting with the over dramatized unhappiness.

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People insist that the notion of happiness can’t be left in the dominion of vague feelings or inexplicable internal conviction, requiring empirical reasoning and calculation, and not merely left as an ambiguous sentiment.  Using empirical reasoning to judge happiness would neglect the subjective nature of happiness, interpretations of happiness often misinterpreting utilitarianism and hedonism as happiness. Andrew H. Mills poses the question:  “Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?’ And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, ‘No!”.

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We then can argue how reliably aware are we of our own happiness, often referring to past days as “happy old days”, but is that a reliable judge of emotion? Seeking happiness means to accept and commit oneself to examining the incompatible desires and values that are internally manifested. Is ‘true’ happiness actually attainable, or is it merely a pedestal sentiment that is unreachable, promoting people to keep trying harder to pursue ‘true’ happiness. Mills has further stated that mental cultivation and selfishness generates unhappiness. My belief is that to achieve a semblance of happiness people need to share the view that human life is imperfectly arranged, but that its wrapped in potential.

Charles Dickens: “Where is happiness to be found then? Surely not everywhere? Can that be so, after all? Is this my experience?”